Family #1

We met M. in family # 1 in 2007 when he was in our second grade Wednesday night Bible class.  He was such a sweet, cute and fun kid. He had a thick accent, but his English was pretty good. He liked to please us very much. During drawing time, he would put his hand up to his face like he was calling us on the phone and say, "Mr. 'Burden,' what should I draw?' We met his brother C.  and his mother J. when Terry was helping with the vans and C. along with another young man pulled a little girl's hair. Terry asked me to explain this to C's mom, so that she could ask him not to do it. We later learned that this was really unusual behavior for C. He was in our second grade class the next year and we grew to love him also. M and C came from a family of seven children.

We wanted to get better acquainted with this family, so we asked if we could pick their children up instead of having them ride on the van. The parents were hesitant at first, but let us since three of them would be riding with us.  They had an older sister, L. that came with us. Their younger sister V. was about 1 1/2 years old and the boys would proudly bring her to the car so that we could get to know her and she us. This allowed us to really get to know their parents and siblings and relate in a totally different manner. This extra time each week before and after class became a treat for us and made them the envy of others who saw this as a special privilege. The exposure to the family and neighborhood created a bond and trust that enabled us to be welcomed into homes of other kids as we expanded in our role in the community of Solms which is just south of New Braunfels, Texas.

We learned that M. had been the first child in their family to come to the U.S. at age four when his dad came to build the apartments they were living in. The other children came a couple of years later with mom. V was the first child to be born in the united. She was later joined with another sister S. and a brother A.

Early on we made a mistake with this family that we have tried not to repeat. Mom invited us into their home to eat beans and rice.  We had just eaten, so we told her thank you, but that we were not hungry. It took her a long time to invite us again. We realized shortly after we said "no" that we had made a mistake. How could they trust us if it looked like we did not trust them. Fortunately we have become a great part of their family and are often in their home and they are in ours. We are now the adopted grandparents of all the children except the oldest who left home before we got to know him. Miguel was the first to call Terry and me Grandma and Grandpa and still resents it when he hears other families call us that now.

M.'s older brother, L. did not come to church with us. We didn't really get to know him other than to speak until after he graduated from high school. We happened to be at his graduation because our granddaughter had graduated at the same time. We told him we saw him at his graduation and he has been very comfortable with us since then. He also started calling us Grandpa and Grandma and gets us Christmas presents and comes to us for advice. He invited us to his new home before he had moved in and again for a move-in celebration.

Another older brother N. remained aloof with us until this year. He became the soccer coach for his youngest brother A. We attend both the games and practice and this has opened us up to being friends. He now talks easily to us, so much so that L. is silent when N is around and L is usually not silent.

I was asked to take mom to the hospital for the birth of A. Dad, also A. was working, but met us there. I was able to coach her and pray with her. What an honor! I was the 2nd one to hold him.  Dad held him first, but the family reports that I was the first.

We help the younger children with homework, help teach them to read, take them on trips and were the first to take them to a movie and to the beach. We took one sister, V., to Oregon with us and had the most fun vacation we have ever had. We took M. and C. to Washington DC for M.'s graduation. M. wasn't the best traveler, but he talks a lot about how much he enjoyed the trip. C. loves politics and wants to be a senator so he loved everything about the trip. He wants us to take him to a presidential convention for his graduation! We have been to the baptisms of their children, their daughter's quincinera, lots of family birthdays and other parties and even spent a Christmas eve with them. Now that M. is working, he wants to eat with us every Thursday at lunch so he can have special alone time with us. Thank you Lord for the blessings this family has been to us.

Ylija

Ylija was in our second grade class.  We remember her as a loving and bright member of the class.   When we started teaching the 4th and 5th grade class on Wednesday nights we again had her in class.  She was just as delightful.  She spent much time with her grandmother who lived at the apartments and so was there on Wednesdays to be picked up with the rest of the kids from Solms.  She was outgoing and  had many friends at church.  As she began her fifth grade in 2012 she was very good friends with several girls.  In class, we noticed something was different in the way she interacted with both students and her teachers.  In September, she went to the county fair with her cousins and had a spell which resulted in her having to go to the hospital.  It was found that she had a tumor on her brain that was inoperable.  Lucretia and I went to the hospital to pray for her.  She welcomed us warmly and we saw that our visit was important to both her and her Mom.

As I remember she began both radiation and chemo which rapidly lessened some of the symptoms.  Her support at school was terrific.  Because her prognosis was so grim, her friends and family began making every effort to fill her short life with meaningful experiences.  One of the school staff that was close to Ylija invited her to join them at their home often and even took her on a family cruise.  The school rented a hall in town and since she wasn't expected to be around for her quinceañera they throw a huge party for her, her family, friends and classmates.  Since she was 12 they called it a doceañera and arranged a limo and all the party festivities.  They had an Open Bar which served candy.  The traditional dress and crown were supplied and everyone rejoiced in being there to support Ylija on this special day.  Lucretia and I were among the ones honored to be included in this special evening.  We even joined in the fun dancing that brought everyone together in celebrating her life with her.

One of Ylija's wishes came true when she was able to go to a concert of one of her favorite singers.  I imagine she was surprised when she was invited on to the stage to be serenaded.

  Elida Reyna singing to Ylija     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDBj8npjNFQ

We had read the book, Heaven Is For Real, and included the topic in our Wednesday night class.  Although it might seem too serious a topic for 4th and 5th graders, we knew that all our kids were conscious of what was happening in Ylija's life.   When the author of the book scheduled to speak in a nearby town we took a van load of kids including Ylija and a few adults to hear him tell of what he and his family had experienced.  All of us reflected together on life and life after this one.

Once when Ylija was in the hospital we were asked to bring our pastor to pray over her.  We called two elders who met us at the hospital.  On the way they had stopped and bought a small glass container and oil.  They prayed with the family and Ylija and annointed her head with oil as instructed in the Bible.  It was a special time for us all.

Ylija chose the words below to express her outlook that she adopted in living her life:

Ylija was put on Hospice care and was confined to her bed so we gathered a group of her friends to visit and sing her favorite song.

Father God, just for today help me walk your narrow way.  Help me stand when I might fall, give me your strength to hear to your call.  May my steps be worship.  May my thoughts be praise.  May my words bring honor to your name.

Ylija died on February 26, 2013.  Since she considered our church to be her church, we were honored to host the memorial ceremony.  Her community had become ours.  She was mourned by family and friends and school staff and her church.

God changes our plans

Often as we have pursued what we see as a long term goal we have had it made clear to us that God will take care of that in HIS way, not ours. Terry and I have also discovered that the devil tries to discourage as much as he can. We have to discern which it is, but God always opens a door if we continue to follow him.

In December, I learned that my mammogram had something suspicious on it, but the doctor who would do the surgery was not available until January. In early January I learned that I indeed did have breast cancer and would need surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Many people assumed that this would halt or slow down our plans, but we were still riding high on God's joy and saw this as the devil trying to discourage us. We continued to make plans for the house and continued to clear trees and old fence. Mr. L., the 80+-year old, tried to protest when I continued to help clear shortly after surgery, but the surgery was just for a lumpectomy and was not bad at all.

The elder who had been afraid we would become a financial burden on the church brought his tractor and made a big difference in the property in a short time. He was able to cut down small trees with the tractor very quickly.  The place really looked different.

Then we began to look for financing to start building the home. Our plans were finished and we were excited. Our current house in the country is paid for. We believed we could get a loan with no problem. Our credit score is good and we would pay off the loan as soon as we sold our house. That would happen soon since one of our daughters wanted it as soon as we could move out. But...we had bought commercial land and no one will loan on it to build a residential home. We looked everywhere and were completely surprised by the "no." Lord, what are you telling us? Why?

The only way we would be able to have a home on this land was to put a trailer home. Terry had said, "I will never live in a trailer." Well, he doesn't say "never" anymore. The Lord has made him eat his words twice now and they don't taste too good.

The Lord knew best that we would fit in this neighborhood in a trailer rather than in a model home. We still live above our neighbors financially, but we are not so ostentatious to them that they want to stay a way. They are very comfortable in our home. Lord thank you for guiding us in ways that you know will help our ministry and thank you that Terry is humble enough to accept your will graciously.

Starting to clear

Lucretia and I went out to begin clearing on our land.  HIS land.  We had made a slight effort at this about a month ago, but the land was still not in our name.  Now it is and since we were in town today we planned to spend a short time clearing on the quarter of this land that is to become our home.  We stopped by on our way to invite our friend, Senor L., to join us.  He and I have a language barrier but both of us enjoy conversing anyway.  Lucretia is our bridge from Spanish to English or the other way around.  He has expressed a desire to work with us on fixing up this land.  Even though he is in his 80's, he still can work circles around most of us and is as excited about our move to his neighborhood as we are.

We hadn't been at it very long before the C. family stopped to help. They started immediately to help us in trimming brush and picking up litter.   Another young neighbor showed up about the same time and offered his assistance anytime we needed.  We thanked him and left that offer for a future time. This land was once a corn field but has been idle for over 30 years.  We look forward to see it bloom with gardens and new friends.  Already this road has brought us into contact with several new friends as we explore the details of buying the land, designing a new home, and contracting the construction of this house.

We know that we could be moving into a bigger home with many fewer complications, but that is not what we feel called to do. We are planning a two-bedroom home with a large community room. Our friends who are helping us clear the land and encouraging us in this dream are the reasons for what we are doing.  We are moving to be nearer those we feel drawn to share life with.  With what time and energy God blesses us with we will continue to follow in the steps he leads us in.  As we talk with others about this calling it becomes clearer each day.  We hear suggestions about what we should check out first, so that is what we do.  We are given books by friends who share this passion, again the vision is clearer.

We also had a little discouragement again. We stopped at the Sheriff's office to explain our plans and interface with them. The Deputy we spoke with told us that we should just live like we already were, retired and safe out in the country. No one should be moving to Solms. It is too dangerous. "Do not be afraid...Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Thank you Father for putting us on this path.  Thank you, those in the faith, who challenge and encourage us to always be open to where the Spirit is leading.  Thank you to our new friends who we see as companions on this road which now is leading to and from Solms.

Dreams -- ours or HIS

Ok, are we saying that we are led by dreams?  Often what we are dreaming about in the daytime becomes clearer when expressed through our dreams.  I have found myself waking from a dream early in the morning and jumping out of bed to continue to clarify what the dream may have been pointing towards.

Lucretia and I are striving to follow where God's Spirit is leading us.  While driving, especially on long trips, we are in the habit of reading from books that we found or that have found us through suggestions from friends.  We have often felt led by the Spirit through the thoughts and writings of others, even more so in direct conversations with others as we discuss the directions of our lives.  To imagine that people only randomly enter our paths at the right time with the right words would say that we control the world around us or even that God has no plans for us.  We believe that He does have plans, often made clear through our interactions with others who are walking in Him.  We have set our goals toward living in the Solms community.  The momentum and flow of life is leading us there, we believe through the guidance of the Spirit.

 An example of our day dreams being crystallized by our night dreams into a solid vision of a Spirit step is seen in our embrace of the term HIS in our life.  We have struggled some with a few middle school boys who express their rebellion through their strut.  The clothes they wear, the attitudes they reflect point toward boys on the cusp of following in the culture of gangs or thugs with little respect for authority or parents.  Some of these are the same boys we have taught for years.  We see the influence of peer pressure leading them down the wrong path.

While this was apparent to us, the urgency of the situation wasn't made clear until one of the mothers of a boy in this age expressed her frustration with the rebellion and disobedience her son was showing as he sought to fit in with other kids in the neighborhood.  The next morning I awoke to the clear vision of what could be done.  The term HIS echoed in my head.  My dreams or waking thoughts had outlined that we needed to reach these boys in other ways from what we were trying.  Our structure to this point was to organize the vans to pick up around 43 kids for the Wednesday night classes.  The boys who were most at risk really didn't seem interested in these classes and actually when they did come were often a serious distraction to the teachers and other students.  But all of these kids were HIS (belonging to God).  My thoughts dwelt on how we could keep them involved in other ways that would benefit them.  What could guide them away from the disrespect which they now so often displayed?

It seems that they could be guided toward respecting others again using peer pressure but for good this time. What for me has meant that I am HIS was now also revealed in this "dream" to mean:

         Honoring God In Solms
         Honoring Family In Solms
         Honoring Others In Solms

We could start our own "gang" of sorts with subtle direction toward HIS.   I felt these boys would respond best if men would lead them in adventures and explorations outside of their experiences.  Not so hard to do as many of these young men have not been hiking in the woods, or driven to nearby state parks, or gone down into one of the nearby caverns, or taken a trip to the coast.

And so HIS began.  We invited 13 boys to come out to our 5 acres for an afternoon.  Eleven were able to come.  I recruited three other adults to hang out with the boys, and we had a blast.  A day spent away from the apartments and trailers that they are so accustomed to became a real outing.  Our promise to them is to continue this regularly and extend the distance and degree of adventure depending on how they as a group showed respect to others.  My good friend Jim had described earlier how respect can be modeled and ensured by having all of the group experience consequences when any one person steps out of line.  We didn't discuss our new notion of HIS during the day, but this did begin that day.

Lucretia and I were able to expand on this concept a couple of weeks later by bringing 12 of the middle school range girls to our house for an afternoon and then involving them in a memorial 5k stroll in honor of Madelleine, a young lady who had died this summer.  We felt it again went very well and helped to bond these girls in our HIS model.  The following week, 13 of the younger kids from these neighborhoods were brought out to our house for a day play followed by Christmas lights viewing on our way home.

I fixed up a small, rough sign to hang outside our new home which is to be built in Solms.  It reminds us of our reasons for moving, giving of our time and money, giving up our quiet life in the country.  In one word it expresses that what we give isn't ours to give. The sacrifices we make don't even start to compare to the one that He made on the cross.  This isn't our new land and new home -- these aren't our kids and new friends-- this isn't our new neighborhood --- it's  H I S

He did Interrupt us

After finishing the last Adventures for Kids and cleaning the facilities until 10:30 pm the night before, Terry and I left early the next morning on a trip to the east coast to visit two of our children. We spent a lot of time at first talking about the Adventures - what we liked, what we didn't like and would we ever do it again. We were exhausted, but it was hard not to talk about the kids. We also began reading Jen Hatmaker's Interrupted. We finally agreed to not talk about the kids after we crossed the Mississippi River, because it was so hard not to focus on the Tuesdays of the last few months.

In January 2012, our Pastor had stated that someone needed to move to the Solms area to work with the families we were serving in our Wednesday evening children's program.  I looked at Terry and said, "We could do that." He looked at me and said, "Don't you ever say that again." We smile a lot about that. But the spirit was talking to both of us through Jen's book. Sometime after crossing the Mississippi river, Terry looked at me and said, "We need to move to Solms." My immediate response was, "Yes, we could move into the apartments there." We discussed what this would mean and continued reading the book until we arrived at our son's home in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

While there we took our four-year old granddaughter to church on Sunday. She received a memory verse, Joshua 1:9: "Do not be afraid. I will be with you wherever you go." It was a perfect one for her. Her life was in turmoil with her parents divorcing, her dad getting custody and moving to go to school, dad finishing school and looking for work.

The next Sunday, we were visiting our daughter in Chesapeake, Virginia. We went to church with her family and the pastor preached on......Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Do you think God was encouraging us to follow his earlier leading to move to Solms?  We must believe it. Our trip home was spent in talking about plans and marveling over hearing God speak to us in this manner.

Our pastor was excited when he heard and asked us to tell the elders of our church. We assumed they would be excited too, but they were a little discouraging. One elder asked if we had counted up the cost and encouraged us to wait until we had. Another asked us if when we tire of this mission, if the church would have to help us financially. He did not want the church to be responsible for any finances. We assured him we are financially sound.

"Be strong and courageous...do not be discouraged..." We were still too excited to let the naysayers bother us, so we began looking for a place to buy. We had both decided the apartments would not be a good way to use our money or big enough for us to entertain the families. There was only one house available in the area and it needed too much repair. We looked for land and there was none advertised so we began knocking on doors of homes that had large parcels of land. We finally purchased about an acre of land right across the street from one set of apartments where many of our families lived and down the street from the other set of apartments. Thank you God for blessing us so much.

Adventures for Kids

Lucretia had discussed with several others the need for a summer reading camp.  Many of the kids we were working with once a week seemed behind in their reading and writing skills.  We all feared that taking the summer off from school would result in loosing some of the abilities that they had worked so hard for.  

As we came to know these families more, and as I try to learn to speak Spanish, we discovered the great disparity that comes when kids grow up in a Spanish speaking household versus those from an English speaking background.   I had assumed from working with second grade kids that some were just a little slower in learning than others.  Later, I would discover that these same kids were really very bright as they were able to show once they had mastered the English language.  Still, while they were learning a language, their peers were learning grammar, math, science, history, etc.

This difference was and is a constant issue in our classes.  Church kids and their parents resented classes taught a a basic level of bible knowledge even though all kids can benefit from learning more about the essentials of the bible.  In our 5th grade class, we had adopted the Easy to Read version of the bible to keep lessons simple.  The resistance came often from parents and kids from a home schooled setting which voiced opposition to a "dumbed down" presentation of gospel facts.  We tried to emphasize for kids and parents who had grown up with the Bible in their homes that these were an ideal setting to model outreach and ministry to kids who had lacked their training in the home.  We also tried to say at the same time that we should be especially welcoming to families who didn't have the background of our denomination or heritage.  This would include families of all cultures, education levels, and race.  Still this discussion continues.

Discussing the summer program with Cassandra we decided to check out an existing program called Kids Club.  The staff who greeted us were so supportive as they showed us how they reached at-risk kids in several of the Elementary schools.  As we compared our ideas for applying this to the kids we were reaching, we were totally surprised when, after checking with the board overseeing Kids Club, we were offered the use of their facilities without a charge for one day a week for the summer.  In addition, they invited us to join in their one week "Summer Camp".  And so, as we continue to experience, when HIS Spirit is leading our actions we are put in touch with others who are led in the same direction.

Our program was called Adventures for Kids.  We invited about 25 of our 2nd through 5th grades from our Wednesday night classes.  Another 10-12 older kids were asked to serve as staff to join others in the same age group from church.  Each Tuesday during the summer we picked up these kids and spent the day at the Kids Club facilities.  We played, read, sang, studied math, had devotionals, and went on field trips.  For kids who had few opportunities away from their apartments or trailers during the summer, this day of Adventure was a treat.  At the same time, the kids had instruction from volunteer adults and older teens.

These days spent with kids gave us the chance to know them better.  Our contact previously had been limited to either in the classroom with its necessary structure or on infrequent and short van trips while taking them home on Wednesday nights.  We also witnessed more closely the distance that existed between these "van" kids and the "church" kids who came to volunteer.  Our labels and distinctions continue to separate the kids and their parents from others in our church settings.  Not only is language a barrier but also the economic and cultural differences make it hard to relate to each other.  We judge each other with stereotypes which only prolong misunderstandings between us.

For Lucretia and I, as these prejudices became more apparent, our own protective instincts made us resent attitudes expressed by our "rich, white" church members.  We quickly began judging others for their biases while ignoring our own toward both the families of these Hispanic kids and also families who sought to protect their own kids from the rough, unchurched nature sometimes seen in these "van"kids.  About this time, in part as an effort to eliminate labels, the van program as a whole was given the ministry title, SEEDS.  It was an acronym but I still can't remember what it indicated.  So, another label was added to the existing "bus" or "van" label that distinguished these kids from "our church" kids.

Every Tuesday, we would pick up two van loads of kids for our Adventures.   Among the outings we included swimming at the city pools, Jumpy Castles, bowling, and a trip to the Children's Museum.  It was on this particular trip that another of our personal life changes began.  On this day, our Adventures kids were mixed with others from the community who were enjoying the Museum.  We assigned small groups of kids to our older helpers while the adult volunteers roamed among them keeping eyes open for kids' opportunities for mischief.  I noticed a woman there with two kids who to me seemed obviously from Ethiopia though I have really never had known anyone from there.  When I got the chance I asked her if her kids were adopted from there.  She smiled and said that this boy and girl were really not hers.  Yes, they had been adopted from Ethiopia but by her friends, Brandon and Jen Hatmaker, who were pastors of a church in Austin, Texas.  She suggested that we might want to read the book that her friend had just written titled: Interrupted.  We discussed our summer program and the kids that we were with and promised to read the book as soon as we could get a copy.  That became our read on our trip later that summer and is the source of the Spirit's further moving in our lives.

Although the summer was exhausting for us to organize and facilitate, the result was that we got closer to the families of a larger community.  This community is more and more part of our lives.  We are seeing ourselves as part of HIS family.